By Vernon Elliott
Tiger Woods says he is giving up white women in the hopes of reigniting his slumping career. Once the world’s no.1 golfer, Woods has plummeted to no. 266 in the rankings.
“Man, my friends Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley tried to warn me what would happen if I started flaunting my white women, but I didn’t listen. Now look what’s happened,” Woods lamented. “Ever since I started messing with white women, my career has gone downhill. America doesn’t like it when a brother is seen with a bunch hot Beckies.”
Once called one of the most successful golfers of all time, Woods’ career has gone into a tailspin ever since he had a much-publicized altercation with his Swedish wife Elin Nordegren. She attacked his car with a golf club after she found he was cheating on her with multiple women.
“I went and got a blonde, Swedish woman, son,” Woods told Golfing for Brothers. “You don’t get much whiter than that. Turns out she was just as crazy as any regular hood rat.”
Woods says he will now concentrate on dating black women and has apparently relocated to Atlanta, Ga. He was recently seen leaving Magic City, a famous Atlanta strip club, in the company of several curvaceous black women. Woods has been seen “making it rain,” several times at the club.
“After years of dating flat-assed white women, I’ve come to appreciate big-booty sisters,” Woods joked.