Fiorina Laid Off 30,000 Workers at HP, Says She Knows How to Put Americans Back to Work

Carly Fiorina (Michael Vadon)
Carly Fiorina (Michael Vadon)

By H. Peter Johnson
Conservative Correspondent

Former Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina is just one of several people contesting for the Republican party presidential nomination. Fiorina says she will use the skills she learned in Corporate America to streamline government and make it more efficient.

“I know how to get Americans back to work,” said Fiorina.

However Fiorina, who lost a senate race to Barbara Boxer, has never won a political office. Her actions at HP caused the company to lose half of its stock value. The company also laid off 30,000 workers while she was CEO and she was branded “one of the worst tech CEOs of all time.”

Fiorina recently bashed American workers for being lazy.

“The reason we can’t compete with China is because American workers demand big salaries to sit on their butts and watch porn all day,” Fiorina said.

When she was eventually fired from HP, Fiorina walked away with a golden parachute worth $40 million.

Fiorina’s presidential campaign has not been met with enthusiasm from other tech CEOs.

“I wouldn’t hire her to run a lemonade stand,” said Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

“Carly Fiorina could run a strip club located next to a naval base into the ground,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook.

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